May 17, 2012

Simone has left the building

Filed under: Uncategorized — by The Blue Folder @ 6:55 pm
Tags: , ,

Chemo #12 over and you would think I would be happy, but I am not. I am amazed that the twelve weeks have flown by so quickly but it is a much different feeling than having been on a European vacation that flew by.  Much more like that last guy to cross the finish line in a 10K race, poor sap, but people still cheer as he collapses just over the line, and oh the recovery time, oh my, poor sap.  I guess there is no fan fare for #12 because #11 and #12 were so difficult and then top it with the dread for the next round of double chemo so strong that it needs an extra weeks recovery time.  As my body weakens and I enter further into the portal of dealing with each day, I no longer see tomorrow in fact I dread tomorrow for it carries the worries that I may not be able to do it. I have given up planning, no more planning as it only cause me stress and then disappointment when I can not follow through.  My world is getting very small and that is all I can handle right now.  Simone has left the building, but I understand she will be returning for another show sometime in October if all goes as planned.

Sorry to be so glum, too much financial pressure combined with a collapsing body that just wants to be left alone to heal and must press on has me short on patience, humor and sunshine.

Happy things, Getting Miranda ready for the Senior Ball, Sherman (and Trevor) arriving home tomorrow, skipping chemo this week, getting back to work for better or worse, the love of friends and family which makes my heart glow even if I can’t be in contact because frankly it’s just too much effort but I know/feel them there. And of course my pets that are always here by side.

With hugs and much gratitude, S

ps If you lock your purse in the car and leave the back window down it will be stolen.


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