thebluefolder

May 17, 2012

Simone has left the building

Filed under: Uncategorized — by The Blue Folder @ 6:55 pm
Tags: , ,

Chemo #12 over and you would think I would be happy, but I am not. I am amazed that the twelve weeks have flown by so quickly but it is a much different feeling than having been on a European vacation that flew by.  Much more like that last guy to cross the finish line in a 10K race, poor sap, but people still cheer as he collapses just over the line, and oh the recovery time, oh my, poor sap.  I guess there is no fan fare for #12 because #11 and #12 were so difficult and then top it with the dread for the next round of double chemo so strong that it needs an extra weeks recovery time.  As my body weakens and I enter further into the portal of dealing with each day, I no longer see tomorrow in fact I dread tomorrow for it carries the worries that I may not be able to do it. I have given up planning, no more planning as it only cause me stress and then disappointment when I can not follow through.  My world is getting very small and that is all I can handle right now.  Simone has left the building, but I understand she will be returning for another show sometime in October if all goes as planned.

Sorry to be so glum, too much financial pressure combined with a collapsing body that just wants to be left alone to heal and must press on has me short on patience, humor and sunshine.

Happy things, Getting Miranda ready for the Senior Ball, Sherman (and Trevor) arriving home tomorrow, skipping chemo this week, getting back to work for better or worse, the love of friends and family which makes my heart glow even if I can’t be in contact because frankly it’s just too much effort but I know/feel them there. And of course my pets that are always here by side.

With hugs and much gratitude, S

ps If you lock your purse in the car and leave the back window down it will be stolen.

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4 Comments »

  1. Hi Simone:
    What would we do without our pets? My “Bobo” is my best friend and brings me so much joy and companionship. I can tell your pets do the same for you. I can also tell that you have many friends that are all sending you so much love, including me.
    Love,
    Marlene

    Comment by Marlene Eastman — May 17, 2012 @ 8:33 pm |Reply

  2. My words are few…you are a fighter like no other! I do agree that pets are much needed daily medicin. I pray for you and your sweet kids. You are simply amazing! Hugs from Sandpoint.

    Comment by Tamara Scrimsher — May 18, 2012 @ 1:51 pm |Reply

  3. Simone:
    This is a bitch- yes I know.. what a tough battle you are fighting.. I am amazed at your strong will and fortitude. I know you can do this and I believe in you and the power of positive thinking. I remember the great times we had in La Center and fun dinners we enjoyed at each others homes. I believe we come into a persons life for a reason and you have touch my life in a number of ways. Yes, we lost touch but I remember you teaching me about plants and healing herbs and the wonderment and beauty of landscape and design. You might not have thought much about it at the time but yes indeed you did teach me a thing or two about this and that. Please stay strong, lean on your friends and family- they certainly love you so much and want to help.. Beat the hell out of this beast- I know you can. I believe in you-stay strong, and please know that I am here for you- just a mouse click away

    Comment by Melodee Morris — May 19, 2012 @ 5:01 am |Reply

  4. I concur with EVERYTHING Marlene, Tamara and Melodee have just written to you Simone but I just cannot write that much for trying to see through my tears! I cry for you as my heart aches WITH you & FOR you! Melodee is right & everybody knows it…YOU ARE A FIGHTER & together we will help you beat this beast!!! (((Big hugs))) Hang tough girlfriend!!!

    Comment by Marci — May 23, 2012 @ 11:52 pm |Reply


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