thebluefolder

April 14, 2012

Serious undocumented cancer side effect occuring

Everything today has been

heavy and brown.

Bring me a Unicorn

to ride about the town.

                                                                      Anne Morrow Lindberg

Been a rough few days…didn’t even cry this much when I found out I had cancer.  I’ll be fine, I’ll get over it, I’ll persevere, but today…

Cancer is embarrassing.

Embarrassed…

To be poor

To be bald

To be bald with a red bumpy rash

To be divorced

To need help

To have bloody snot rags in the bathroom toilet

To have side effects

To have my main topic of conversation to be cancer/me

To be judged

To wear a wig

To lie when I really do need help

To wish I had a Mom that was closer

To want lie down

To make poor choices

To not be able to pay my share

To not be able to commit

To have my children see me looking cancery

To make payments on or have overdue bills

To have cancer

To be alone

To have to cancel

To have wet farts

To forget things

To not be strong

To ask for help

To have splurged

To not be sharp

To have a dirty car

To be whining now

To have a drunk ex

To not have a cash safety net

To have thinning pubic hairs

To need to walk slower

To want

To have forgotten/overlooked/missed something important to someone

To have pride

To not be able to help others more

To cry

Embarrassed to be embarrassed.

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5 Comments »

  1. I hear you. Hang in there.

    Comment by Carina — April 14, 2012 @ 10:16 pm |Reply

    • Not much of a choice Carina, hang in there or die. Hope you hanging in there too 🙂

      Comment by The Blue Folder — April 15, 2012 @ 1:11 am |Reply

  2. Hi Simone:
    You are a very talented writer. I wish I could write like you. Have you always been into writing?

    I’m finally through with the rush of the tax season. Now I have to get into the packing mode. The “vertigo” takes the wind out of my energies though. I sure hope it goes soon as my Doctor says.

    You are doing so well in your recovery. I cannot wait to see you…as soon as I am able to walk, drive, etc.

    Marlene

    Comment by Marlene Eastman — April 14, 2012 @ 10:35 pm |Reply

    • Hi Marlene, Yes and no on the writing, always wanted to, never did.
      Thinking of you and miss you at Spice! I have known several people with Vertigo and it’s a real bummer. Stress is a major component and the symptons do go away, Yippee! Praying for you 🙂

      Comment by The Blue Folder — April 15, 2012 @ 1:16 am |Reply

  3. Oh, how my heart aches for you, Simone. I’m sure I speak for all your loved ones when I say,”WE WISH YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS.”
    As already stated above, Hang in there. This too shall pass. You’re on my mind & in my prayers. I love you dear lady!!!
    Mmmmmlah (there’s a kiss for you.)
    :o}

    Comment by Marci — April 23, 2012 @ 2:37 am |Reply


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