March 1, 2012

Chemo Eve.

Filed under: Uncategorized — by The Blue Folder @ 6:00 am
Tags: , , ,

It’s Chemo Eve, and my gift was a watermelon where the sun don’t shine. Gross I know but it is awful and oh so consuming. I didn’t even make dinner let alone eat dinner.  After several extremely painful trips to the restroom I vowed never ever to eat again!  Guess I better add that to the list for tomorrow’s doctor visit prior to Chemo where I list my current symptoms, flushes (Hot flash like but on the skin), joint pain in the left knee and shin bone, numbs left toes, tumor soreness and CONSTIPATION!

The week has flown by, I had planned to get so many more things accomplished before tomorrow, what the hell happened. The fear of what in the heck will happen and how bad will it be kept me close to home (Along with mild flu like symptoms).  Monday I ventured out for lunch with a dear friend and it was great to be a regular person!  She and her honey offered to help in a way that has left me at a loss for words.  It lightens a heavy load on my shoulders and wraps me in a blanket of love that is so beautiful, incredible and I don’t even know what to say.  At least I can check that off the big long list of stuff  to worry about on this journey.

Journey to where I keep asking my self…well not exactly asking,  trying not to get bogged  down with things there are no answers to, but I keep focusing on that fact that I can’t hurry this or change this and instead I feel like I should lay on the ground and say ok I give, I accept, thy will be done. It’s not in my nature to not organize plan perfect control…and this feels like if I don’t give I will have a major battle on my hands.

Charlie the bad dog got carrot cake cupcakes off the island while I was out on Monday.  I would be mad at him but he makes me laugh.   Today when I was having my watermelon episode he would not leave my side, every (uneventful painful) trip to restroom he laid on the floor and waited.  God I wanted him out!  But I was so glad he was there.  Guess I should make him some carrot cake cupcakes.

Thank you all for your love and support, and prayers, and calls and texts and posts.



  1. Simone: Please know that my love and support is sent to you everyday. You are always on my mind and in my prayers. I love your “Blue Folder” and hope you keep sending it to me. I miss your smile and cute personality. Marlene

    Comment by Marlene Eastman — March 1, 2012 @ 2:51 pm |Reply

  2. I love that you have kept your sense of humor throughout this unexpected and unwanted journey. I know you will be a blessing to those you will meet on this journey, as well as being blessed .
    Yes, make Charlie those cupcakes!

    Comment by Donna Phipps — March 1, 2012 @ 2:55 pm |Reply

  3. The most sane making prayer I’ve ever found:

    God (or your own meaningful word),
    grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
    courage to change the things I can;
    and wisdom to know the difference.

    Surrender to what we can’t change and courage to act on what we can. I think it must be the secret to happiness (or as close as we can get to happiness).

    Comment by Tara — March 1, 2012 @ 11:59 pm |Reply

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